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Recent forum activity

0

Vasectomy Reversal

Hi, can anyone offer advise please. My partner and I want to have a child together. He had a vasectomy approximately 5 years ago. I have researched that a reversal will cost about $7000.00. What is the process do we get a GP to refer us to a specialist for the reversal? We are prepared to pay at full cost of course after we save. Is there any funding available or can we pay 1/2 private and 1/2 through funding. Who would be the recommended specialist to see in the South Island? I'm 35 no children or pregnancies, he has four beautiful babies. Any advise or information would be grateful.
Created by bottles at 8:27 PM, 16 Apr 2014
0

Vasectomy Reversal

Hi, can anyone offer advise please. My partner and I want to have a child together. He had a vasectomy approximately 5 years ago. I have researched that a reversal will cost about $7000.00. What is the process do we get a GP to refer us to a specialist for the reversal? We are prepared to pay at full cost of course after we save. Is there any funding available or can we pay 1/2 private and 1/2 through funding. Who would be the recommended specialist to see in the South Island? I'm 35 no children or pregnancies, he has four beautiful babies. Any advise or information would be grateful.
Created by bottles at 8:20 PM, 16 Apr 2014
10

I feel like a bit of a failure already!

I would love to hear from other people who feel the same as me. I'm 16 and a half weeks pregnant and don't get me wrong, I'm happy about it - I'm happily married and we planned to have kids. We didn't take too long to conceive and it's all been totally hunky dory so far (apart from hideous morning sickness and vomiting but that's gone now). We have told people now that we're expecting a baby and I feel like everyone else is more excited about it than me. I get daily emails from all different people with links to websites and bits of advice and ideas for things we need to get, but the thought of all the stuff we have to learn and understand and buy and do to prepare for a baby is completely overwhelming. I just keep pushing it away and not wanting to think about it - there are WAY too many choices when it comes to every single aspect, from birth plans to changing tables to nappy types and buggy styles. It's doing my head in. In some ways I wish I was living back in an era where there was just one type of everything and you didn't have to make all these decisions, because with a first baby all you have to go on is a) price and b) the advice of those who have entered the trenches before you. And everyone's got a different opinion, so that doesn't actually help! I've never been particularly excited about having 'a cute little baby' - what I want is a family of happy kids, and the baby part is just a bit to get through in order to get to that. I'm sure I'll feel differently when it's born (as everyone keeps saying), but for now, I am not remotely excited about buying cute little clothes or cots or any of that stuff. Am I abnormal? Is anyone else in my boat?
Last comment by KayLeigh at 7:54 PM, 16 Apr 2014
12

Breast Pumps

Hello mums and mums to be! I'm looking for some advice on what kind of breast pump to purchase. I am expecting my first baby at the end of April (terrified and excited all at the same time!) and have been told by a few people that a decent breast pump is a life saver. Can any mums out there let me know what they have used in the past. I know that they can be quite pricey, but don't mind spending the money if it's worth it. Thanks so much!
Last comment by Duffy23 at 4:08 PM, 15 Apr 2014

Pregnancy

0

Vasectomy Reversal

Hi, can anyone offer advise please. My partner and I want to have a child together. He had a vasectomy approximately 5 years ago. I have researched that a reversal will cost about $7000.00. What is the process do we get a GP to refer us to a specialist for the reversal? We are prepared to pay at full cost of course after we save. Is there any funding available or can we pay 1/2 private and 1/2 through funding. Who would be the recommended specialist to see in the South Island? I'm 35 no children or pregnancies, he has four beautiful babies. Any advise or information would be grateful.
Created by bottles at 8:27 PM, 16 Apr 2014
10

I feel like a bit of a failure already!

I would love to hear from other people who feel the same as me. I'm 16 and a half weeks pregnant and don't get me wrong, I'm happy about it - I'm happily married and we planned to have kids. We didn't take too long to conceive and it's all been totally hunky dory so far (apart from hideous morning sickness and vomiting but that's gone now). We have told people now that we're expecting a baby and I feel like everyone else is more excited about it than me. I get daily emails from all different people with links to websites and bits of advice and ideas for things we need to get, but the thought of all the stuff we have to learn and understand and buy and do to prepare for a baby is completely overwhelming. I just keep pushing it away and not wanting to think about it - there are WAY too many choices when it comes to every single aspect, from birth plans to changing tables to nappy types and buggy styles. It's doing my head in. In some ways I wish I was living back in an era where there was just one type of everything and you didn't have to make all these decisions, because with a first baby all you have to go on is a) price and b) the advice of those who have entered the trenches before you. And everyone's got a different opinion, so that doesn't actually help! I've never been particularly excited about having 'a cute little baby' - what I want is a family of happy kids, and the baby part is just a bit to get through in order to get to that. I'm sure I'll feel differently when it's born (as everyone keeps saying), but for now, I am not remotely excited about buying cute little clothes or cots or any of that stuff. Am I abnormal? Is anyone else in my boat?
Last comment by KayLeigh at 7:54 PM, 16 Apr 2014

Baby

0

We are looking for a gorgeous 3 - 4 month old baby for a Television Commercial

Hello mothers, my name is Roi Macgregor and I am a casting co-ordinator for Reel World Casting in Auckland. We are urgently seeking a gorgeous baby for a Television Commercial, and most importantly we also need the mother who should be attractive but not in a super model kind of way. Someone who feels comfortable in front of the camera and loves interacting with her baby. If you are interested, please could you email me a photo of you and your baby, to roi@reelworld.co.nz We are auditioning on Monday 14th, Tuesday 15th and Wednesday 16th of April and if you get the part, the filming takes place during the 1st week of May. The fees are really quite good, so if you're up for it, please drop me a line!
Created by RoimataMacgregor at 11:08 AM, 12 Apr 2014
23

How can I get her to take a bottle???

My darling littlest baby girl, now 8 weeks, is losing weight. She has a kidney condition, so is on antibiotics daily, for the first year of her life, or surgery, whichever comes first. She is breastfed, and latches on so easy, feeds beautifully, sleeps well, is placid and just a dream baby. BUT she is losing weight and has been for the last 4 weeks. My midwife and gp have suggested topping her up with a bottle, so we tried expressing after a feed til I had a decent amount, and would try giving her a bottle of BM once a day, which she wouldn't take. We tried all sorts of bottles, all sorts of teats, me, dad, and different people trying to feed her, different times of day, all sorts of things. Even tried using two types of formula to see if that would help. We've had really limited success, my mother got about 75 ml into her one night, and then about 2 weeks later, when a good friend was trying (again) she got 150ml of BM and then 80ml of formula into her. I need some tips please people. The fact that she has a chronic condition makes her weight loss quite a concern, yet all the lactation consultants, nurses, mothers groups, nursing groups, etc that I have rung and pleaded for advice, have basically told me that breast is best, and trying anything else is unfair to my baby, it will confuse her, interrupt my flow etc etc etc etc. I have been given domperidone from the gp to try and increase my flow, no luck so far, my BF made me some lactation cookies (she's awesome) but I am really struggling. I don't need to hear any more negative 'you're a bad person for trying a bottle' comments, I have quite happily breastfed my other children, I know breastmilk coming from a healthy mum is best for the baby IF mum can breastfeed, I know it creates a wonderful bond and so on. I need help with having her latch onto a bottle. I love breastfeeding her, and am not talking of giving up, but my baby is sick and losing weight, she needs more food. All I want is to be able to top her up with a bottle once or twice a day. Please help!!
Last comment by Selena Vesely at 8:17 PM, 4 Feb 2014

Little kids

0

Looking for 3-5 year old twin boys for a Television Commercial

Hi, my name is Roi Macgregor and I am a casting co-ordinator for Reel World Casting in Auckland. We are looking for twin boys between the ages of 3>5 years old, and would also like to audition their parents to be in this commercial. They should be of olive complexion and adorable, adventurous and a bit cheeky but not bratty! We are auditioning on Monday 14th, Tuesday 15th and Wednesday 16th of April and the filming would take place in the first week of May. We are in Grey Lynn, please email me at roi@reelworld with some photos if you would like to audition? Many thanks
Created by RoimataMacgregor at 11:14 AM, 12 Apr 2014
34

What do you do for childcare?

I'd be really interested to know what you mums do for childcare - when you first go back to work (assuming you do), when they are in school etc. Creche, au pairs, nannies? What's common in NZ? :)
Last comment by Alliey at 11:48 PM, 8 Nov 2013

Big kids

43

Bible Studies and Opting Out

I read the article about Jeff McClintock objecting to the Bibles in Schools programme reducing teaching/learning time with interest. This issue resonates with me as we are currently living in a small rural community and my son is the only child in our local school to be opted out of the programme. As such, there is one morning a week where he starts the school day at 9.30am as the school have no provision for children not in the programme. He struggles to understand why he is different to the rest of the class as kids being kids, a number of them tease him for being late. He is a very quiet child and uncomfortable with attention so it makes it all the more difficult to try and slip into the class with the minimum of fuss. My personal view is that State run schools should be secular and I am staunchly opposed to the Bibles in Schools programme but with my older child the experience of opting out was seamless and easy. He was at a Primary School where the programme was run after lunch, was actively promoted to parents as being entirely voluntary and the kids who didn't participate were allowed to visit the library for half an hour. There was never an issue and my son was never made to feel different or weird. But all this being said, it is our choice to opt out and clearly we have to accept the consequences, but where is this teaching time made up? During Term 1 alone we have had a couple of half days due to Parent Teacher Interviews, School Athletics and at least two Teachers Only Days (apparently Easter Tuesday is now an official school holiday??!!). I am fortunate in that I have been able to shuffle my work days around to suit but I really do question how we would have been able to manage had my hubby and I both still been working full time. And most importantly, the pupils are still missing out on 20 hours teaching a year so I'm right behind you on this Jeff - I struggle to understand how and why we are just expected to accept this without question?
Last comment by hillbillygirl at 2:07 PM, 23 Mar 2014
10

What's the Tooth Fairy's going rate these days?

The son of a friend of mine lost his first tooth while staying at his grandparents. The tooth fairy there decided to give him $20 (!!!) for the tooth. Not a great precedent, and now he's got a second tooth loose, his parents want to know what a more realistic price might be. Any suggestions?
Last comment by AnKi at 4:30 PM, 10 Mar 2014

Family life

23

Surrogate for 3-Yr-Old's Sibling Frozen Emby

I understand that paying for an advertisement in searching for a potential surrogate is illegal in NZ, but that discussing one's situation on free-to-register support forums such as this one is legal. Does anyone know if this is correct? My small happy family and I are in a dilemma, because we are in need of the help of a volunteer gestational surrogate (commercial surrogacy is illegal in NZ) in order to give our last remaining frozen embryo a chance at life. Fertility Associates figures estimate a cost of nearly $14,000 for this no-guarantees chance at life, which we would happily give a whirl (we do not intend to pursue further fertility treatment in general), if we but had that missing tummy-mummy angel who would be willing to try with us... someone who enjoys being pregnant and bringing life into the world, but who desires no further children of her own... not to mention someone who enjoys being generous beyond words... We simply can't bear to just discard this potential sibling for our daughter. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY mums!
Last comment by Willendorf at 2:26 PM, 14 Jan 2014
37

Are fathers important in their childrens lives?

My personal opinion is that yes they are very important. Which is why I was surprised to find this "parenting" site so PINK! I looked up pink to see what it meant and found this on the web : "pink is associated with sexuality, and purity. That is, a girl who is a virgin in heart and body." We, why are we going with a parenting sites designed for virgin's?? How about a more neutral colour and making a few dads feel welcome here. Maybe a change in name too like the posts in the Essential Dads thread that got shut down for some reason. Just my opinion. Was interested to know how other dads and mum felt about it?
Last comment by Booboo23 at 4:16 PM, 19 May 2013

Mum's life

13

work/children balance

Hi everyone, I am a 25 y.o. my partner and I are planning to conceive during the last leg of writing my ph.d. I will be finished sometime during 2014. I would like to take a year or two out to raise baby, then perhaps look into beginning a career in my field on a part-time basis. What are other Mums experiences with juggling career and children and how did you decide to manage the two? Do you have any opinions on whether you should have stable career before beginning a family, or should it be the other way around? I'd love to know what other people are doing/ have done!
Last comment by Miyuki Su at 2:40 PM, 7 Oct 2013
94

Book Club - Sisters of Mercy

Hi everyone, We'll be holding the first online meeting for the Essential Mums bookclub tonight at about 7.30. Just come back to this thread then. We'll be talking about Sisters of Mercy by Caroline Overington. If you haven't read the book here's a sneak peek of the first 30 or so pages from the publisher's website. www.randomhouse.co.nz/books/caroline-overington/sisters-of-mercy-9781742750422.aspx If you haven't read this book then join the chat anyway and tell us what you have been reading.
Last comment by NatalieJames at 8:55 PM, 13 Mar 2013

General

29

Anyone looked into cloth nappies?

I bought my first set of cloth nappies from a stand at a Parent & Child Expo. It was great becuase I could look, touch and try them, and ask questions. It was just one brand though, and there are so many different brands and styles and things to think about. Looking online just doesn't cut it becuase you can't compare and play with them. In the end I spent quite a chunk of money buying a variety from TradeMe before I settled on the system I was going to use. I wondered if this dificulty was a factor for other parents. Disposables aren't just convenient to use, they take absolutely no time at all to work out. And the cost benefits of cloth aren't that great if you go through the process I followed. What has your experience been? Did you consider cloth at all? If you use cloth, which ones do you use? If not, why did you choose disposables - just convenience, or were their other reasons too? NB people make the decisions that sit their own families, so disposables and cloth are just as good as each other in my opinion.
Last comment by MamaScamps at 10:00 PM, 28 Nov 2013
31

Essential Dads?

So, even though I'm a stay at home dad of a 9 month old baby, I guess I can't engage here. Because this is a site for mums only... or have I missed something?
Last comment by simoragn at 10:07 AM, 29 Oct 2012
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