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Recent forum activity

17

Just off the pill - is this normal?

Hi ladies, I am new to these forums :) Hubby and I came off the pill (Ginet) just over a month ago after being on it for approx 12 years. About 5 days after my last pill (mid-packet) I had a heavy withdrawal bleed, very typical of my usual bleeds on the sugar pills which I normally took every second pack. Its been about 38 days and still no period, despite cramping almost every day for the past couple of weeks. I also cramped about 2 weeks after my withdrawal bleed started which I thought may have been ovulation pain. With all this cramping I took a couple of pregnancy tests last week and they were negative. The cramping is typical of my 'periods' while on the pill, but there is also a bit of lower back pain, and today a feeling of constipation or gas (although I am taking iodine which can do this). I am 29 and from what I can remember of my periods before the pill, they were like clock work, and I was always conscious of never skipping any more than 2-3 bleeds on the pill. I know I've only been off the pill for a reasonably short time, but is what I'm experiencing normal?? I feel like my period is here every day with this cramping and acne etc, but there is just nothing. Its frustrating not knowing what my body is doing and how to calculate ovulation etc. For someone who stresses pretty easily, this isn't helping! I really worry that 12 years on the pill has been hiding something very wrong downstairs.
Last comment by Suzie.T at 8:19 PM, 15 Sep 2014
2

How do you choose?

Choice 1: Give your child a sibling and take single motherhood in your stride (again) Choice 2: Give someone else a chance at a family ... both with regrets of their own... my ex isn't interested, he pushed for an abortion until I was 12 weeks and now wants adoption.. And I have no idea what I want...
Last comment by lanes at 12:54 PM, 15 Sep 2014
9

Is breastfeeding really best?

I find it interesting that "breast is best" is such a heavily used phrase. It even seems to be the opening for any discussion about bottles as well. I know this is really pushed by Plunket but I am yet to see any hard evidence to back up this "breast is best" campaign. After finding breastfeeding my first daughter extremley difficult I was left with no other option than to go with formula. I was initially quite worried about it and the health effects it may have on her so I decided to do some research. I was quite shocked at the lack of credible studies about breastfeeding and its benefits. Of the few articles i found alot of the claims about the superiority of breast milk being made in these studies were what i would describe as flimsy or actually showed there was no significant benefits to children from breastfeeding. Rates of sickness did not decrease, there was no link found between breastfeeding and protecting kids from obesity or that it made kids smarter. One study i found did show a slight decrease in gastro infections in breastfed children however because there is no proper "control group" in any breastfeeding study, they couldnt rule out other factors like waterquality, home cleanliness etc. And other claims like you bond better witb your baby are purely opinions. So why do we bang on about breast being best when it simply cannot be proven?
Last comment by Francine at 11:31 AM, 15 Sep 2014
1

Help! - How long is too long to wait after depo?

My Partner and I are TTC with the "lets see what happens" type goal, but as he starts to want kids more and more I am starting to get a bit worried.. I'm only in my early 20's and I was on the depo jab for just over 3 years, with my last jab being due in august last year and i still havent had a period yet let alone anything else.. I know that it can take a long time to conceive after being on depo for such a period of time, I was just wondering if anyone knows how long should i be waiting before consulting with someone further about it, Ive read so many horror stories online about people becoming sterile after being on the depo for so long, and before I went to depo I was on the pill so its been years since I've even had a period. Can someone please give me some advice?
Last comment by lmy at 10:31 PM, 14 Sep 2014

Pregnancy

17

Just off the pill - is this normal?

Hi ladies, I am new to these forums :) Hubby and I came off the pill (Ginet) just over a month ago after being on it for approx 12 years. About 5 days after my last pill (mid-packet) I had a heavy withdrawal bleed, very typical of my usual bleeds on the sugar pills which I normally took every second pack. Its been about 38 days and still no period, despite cramping almost every day for the past couple of weeks. I also cramped about 2 weeks after my withdrawal bleed started which I thought may have been ovulation pain. With all this cramping I took a couple of pregnancy tests last week and they were negative. The cramping is typical of my 'periods' while on the pill, but there is also a bit of lower back pain, and today a feeling of constipation or gas (although I am taking iodine which can do this). I am 29 and from what I can remember of my periods before the pill, they were like clock work, and I was always conscious of never skipping any more than 2-3 bleeds on the pill. I know I've only been off the pill for a reasonably short time, but is what I'm experiencing normal?? I feel like my period is here every day with this cramping and acne etc, but there is just nothing. Its frustrating not knowing what my body is doing and how to calculate ovulation etc. For someone who stresses pretty easily, this isn't helping! I really worry that 12 years on the pill has been hiding something very wrong downstairs.
Last comment by Suzie.T at 8:19 PM, 15 Sep 2014
2

How do you choose?

Choice 1: Give your child a sibling and take single motherhood in your stride (again) Choice 2: Give someone else a chance at a family ... both with regrets of their own... my ex isn't interested, he pushed for an abortion until I was 12 weeks and now wants adoption.. And I have no idea what I want...
Last comment by lanes at 12:54 PM, 15 Sep 2014

Baby

9

Is breastfeeding really best?

I find it interesting that "breast is best" is such a heavily used phrase. It even seems to be the opening for any discussion about bottles as well. I know this is really pushed by Plunket but I am yet to see any hard evidence to back up this "breast is best" campaign. After finding breastfeeding my first daughter extremley difficult I was left with no other option than to go with formula. I was initially quite worried about it and the health effects it may have on her so I decided to do some research. I was quite shocked at the lack of credible studies about breastfeeding and its benefits. Of the few articles i found alot of the claims about the superiority of breast milk being made in these studies were what i would describe as flimsy or actually showed there was no significant benefits to children from breastfeeding. Rates of sickness did not decrease, there was no link found between breastfeeding and protecting kids from obesity or that it made kids smarter. One study i found did show a slight decrease in gastro infections in breastfed children however because there is no proper "control group" in any breastfeeding study, they couldnt rule out other factors like waterquality, home cleanliness etc. And other claims like you bond better witb your baby are purely opinions. So why do we bang on about breast being best when it simply cannot be proven?
Last comment by Francine at 11:31 AM, 15 Sep 2014
25

How can I get her to take a bottle???

My darling littlest baby girl, now 8 weeks, is losing weight. She has a kidney condition, so is on antibiotics daily, for the first year of her life, or surgery, whichever comes first. She is breastfed, and latches on so easy, feeds beautifully, sleeps well, is placid and just a dream baby. BUT she is losing weight and has been for the last 4 weeks. My midwife and gp have suggested topping her up with a bottle, so we tried expressing after a feed til I had a decent amount, and would try giving her a bottle of BM once a day, which she wouldn't take. We tried all sorts of bottles, all sorts of teats, me, dad, and different people trying to feed her, different times of day, all sorts of things. Even tried using two types of formula to see if that would help. We've had really limited success, my mother got about 75 ml into her one night, and then about 2 weeks later, when a good friend was trying (again) she got 150ml of BM and then 80ml of formula into her. I need some tips please people. The fact that she has a chronic condition makes her weight loss quite a concern, yet all the lactation consultants, nurses, mothers groups, nursing groups, etc that I have rung and pleaded for advice, have basically told me that breast is best, and trying anything else is unfair to my baby, it will confuse her, interrupt my flow etc etc etc etc. I have been given domperidone from the gp to try and increase my flow, no luck so far, my BF made me some lactation cookies (she's awesome) but I am really struggling. I don't need to hear any more negative 'you're a bad person for trying a bottle' comments, I have quite happily breastfed my other children, I know breastmilk coming from a healthy mum is best for the baby IF mum can breastfeed, I know it creates a wonderful bond and so on. I need help with having her latch onto a bottle. I love breastfeeding her, and am not talking of giving up, but my baby is sick and losing weight, she needs more food. All I want is to be able to top her up with a bottle once or twice a day. Please help!!
Last comment by Charpeaches at 9:10 PM, 22 Jul 2014

Little kids

20

Natural bathing products

Hi there I need some help, I have a 14 month old who has very sensitive skin and suffers from excema and wondering if anyone has suggestions for some natural products to use on her skin and hair. Any recommendations would be much appreciated. Many thanks
Last comment by deenamathew at 9:17 PM, 22 Aug 2014
35

What do you do for childcare?

I'd be really interested to know what you mums do for childcare - when you first go back to work (assuming you do), when they are in school etc. Creche, au pairs, nannies? What's common in NZ? :)
Last comment by MiaCC at 8:50 PM, 5 May 2014

Big kids

43

Bible Studies and Opting Out

I read the article about Jeff McClintock objecting to the Bibles in Schools programme reducing teaching/learning time with interest. This issue resonates with me as we are currently living in a small rural community and my son is the only child in our local school to be opted out of the programme. As such, there is one morning a week where he starts the school day at 9.30am as the school have no provision for children not in the programme. He struggles to understand why he is different to the rest of the class as kids being kids, a number of them tease him for being late. He is a very quiet child and uncomfortable with attention so it makes it all the more difficult to try and slip into the class with the minimum of fuss. My personal view is that State run schools should be secular and I am staunchly opposed to the Bibles in Schools programme but with my older child the experience of opting out was seamless and easy. He was at a Primary School where the programme was run after lunch, was actively promoted to parents as being entirely voluntary and the kids who didn't participate were allowed to visit the library for half an hour. There was never an issue and my son was never made to feel different or weird. But all this being said, it is our choice to opt out and clearly we have to accept the consequences, but where is this teaching time made up? During Term 1 alone we have had a couple of half days due to Parent Teacher Interviews, School Athletics and at least two Teachers Only Days (apparently Easter Tuesday is now an official school holiday??!!). I am fortunate in that I have been able to shuffle my work days around to suit but I really do question how we would have been able to manage had my hubby and I both still been working full time. And most importantly, the pupils are still missing out on 20 hours teaching a year so I'm right behind you on this Jeff - I struggle to understand how and why we are just expected to accept this without question?
Last comment by hillbillygirl at 2:07 PM, 23 Mar 2014
10

What's the Tooth Fairy's going rate these days?

The son of a friend of mine lost his first tooth while staying at his grandparents. The tooth fairy there decided to give him $20 (!!!) for the tooth. Not a great precedent, and now he's got a second tooth loose, his parents want to know what a more realistic price might be. Any suggestions?
Last comment by AnKi at 4:30 PM, 10 Mar 2014

Family life

41

Are fathers important in their childrens lives?

My personal opinion is that yes they are very important. Which is why I was surprised to find this "parenting" site so PINK! I looked up pink to see what it meant and found this on the web : "pink is associated with sexuality, and purity. That is, a girl who is a virgin in heart and body." We, why are we going with a parenting sites designed for virgin's?? How about a more neutral colour and making a few dads feel welcome here. Maybe a change in name too like the posts in the Essential Dads thread that got shut down for some reason. Just my opinion. Was interested to know how other dads and mum felt about it?
Last comment by lanes at 1:28 PM, 28 Aug 2014
27

I want another baby - husband doesn't...

I am after a little advice. I am 36 and so definately fall in the older mum category... I met my husband 4 years ago and we discussed having children. He already had an 8yo from a previous relationship that is with us 50/50. I told him that I really wanted 4 kids, but would settle for 3 considering 'we' already had one. He told me that I could have as many as I wanted. Once we got engaged we talked about it again. I told him I wanted 3 biological and he said he wanted 1 more only. I told him that I did not want my child to be growing up alone (as their half sister would be over 10 years older so almost another parent, plus only with us half the time) and so I compromised again and said that I would agree to having 2 as a minimum and I wouldn't compromise again as I wanted 2 close together in age so they could play together. He agreed. We then got married and I now have a 21month old. I am wanting to TTC next year and had the discussion and was told that he had changed his mind, and doesnt' want any more, and I can't force someone to have a child when they don't want one. When I told him that he agreed prior to us getting married he told me that everyone can change their minds and he would prefer to pay the mortgage off faster than have another child. I am devestated. I feel like my family is incomplete, and I have no options as my husband says that he won't budge and will seriously have to look at our marriage if I push the issue... I only want my husband's children and I have no time to find another Mr right at my age anyway... I never wanted an only child which is pretty much what I have... and I don't want to 'accidentally' fall pregnant... anyone else been through this????
Last comment by at 10:28 PM, 15 Aug 2014

Mum's life

7

Does anyone else hate being a stay-at-home mum (or dad)?

I have searched the internet, and can't find much for mothers that hate being stay-at-home mums (especially not in NZ). Is there anyone else out there that feels that way? From the way people talk on forums I get the idea this is not a problem for anyone else; but I thought I would reach out to see if anyone had something to say on the topic. Be interested to hear what you have to say.
Last comment by MaxineStrickland at 6:40 PM, 14 Sep 2014
0

Mums in non-traditional careers?

Hi, I'm 26 & while I'm not planning to start a family in the very near future (I'm more thinking 5-6 years time!), I just wanted to talk to some women about being mums & how they found it in non-traditional careers - e.g. engineer, mechanic, electrician etc. I want to be a mum eventually, but the whole thing is just such a strange concept to me. I know almost nothing about pregnancy & childbirth except most of the horror stories, which seems to be the only information I can find... I love my job as a general engineer, but I'm a bit worried about what happens you get pregnant & you can't exactly do your job (I mean welding isn't exactly good for your health, so what happens when you're about to be a mum?). I'm also keen to hear about how you juggle being a mum with a career that requires on-call duty weeks and the like. I'd also LOVE to talk to some mums who are fire-fighters (I'm a volunteer where I live) & how they manage. I understand a lot of this kind of thing is all about how you manage it with your employer, but I'm keen to know how others have dealt with everything. Have you ever felt like you were 'letting the team down' by being on extended maternity leave or having to take time to look after your kids?? As strange as this may sound, one of my fears is that after working so hard to establish myself in a career I love, having kids could throw a huge spanner in the works & I don't want to end up bitter & resentful because my career flopped afterwards. Thanks.
Created by natgrey2 at 11:26 AM, 13 Sep 2014

General

29

Anyone looked into cloth nappies?

I bought my first set of cloth nappies from a stand at a Parent & Child Expo. It was great becuase I could look, touch and try them, and ask questions. It was just one brand though, and there are so many different brands and styles and things to think about. Looking online just doesn't cut it becuase you can't compare and play with them. In the end I spent quite a chunk of money buying a variety from TradeMe before I settled on the system I was going to use. I wondered if this dificulty was a factor for other parents. Disposables aren't just convenient to use, they take absolutely no time at all to work out. And the cost benefits of cloth aren't that great if you go through the process I followed. What has your experience been? Did you consider cloth at all? If you use cloth, which ones do you use? If not, why did you choose disposables - just convenience, or were their other reasons too? NB people make the decisions that sit their own families, so disposables and cloth are just as good as each other in my opinion.
Last comment by MamaScamps at 10:00 PM, 28 Nov 2013
31

Essential Dads?

So, even though I'm a stay at home dad of a 9 month old baby, I guess I can't engage here. Because this is a site for mums only... or have I missed something?
Last comment by simoragn at 10:07 AM, 29 Oct 2012
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