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Recent forum activity

1

We need your help with a new documentary series

I’m researching a new documentary for Screentime NZ which is producing a 6 part series for TVNZ called Inconceivable. Over the next two years we’re following families as they struggle with their various battles to build a family. 17% of New Zealanders experience infertility issues and as many of you well know, the impact on relationships, family identity, finances as well as all the physical and emotional pressure is incredibly far reaching. We want Inconceivable to raise awareness and understanding about infertility in what we hope will be an insightful, informative and emotionally compelling series. There are, of course, many different scenarios and solutions for families in this situation and we hope to represent as many as we are able. We also understand this is a sensitive issue and I want to reassure you that we are treating this and all the families involved with the utmost respect and honesty. If you think you might like to share your journey with us, or simply want to know more, please do get in touch.
Last comment by SofiaW at 11:00 AM, 1 Aug 2014
1

Affordable baby websites

Hi. I am moving to Christchurch for a year and have a 10 month old baby. I don't want to spend a lot on nursery furniture like cot and mattress because we will be moving back to the UK in a year. Does anyone have any good recommendations of websites, or shops in Christchurch that are good for things like that?
Last comment by DeeDee at 12:24 AM, 1 Aug 2014
0

Parenting Successfully in a Step Family: Thursday 21st August 7-9pm

Wellington Seminar hosted by The Family Space suitable for people preparing to blend through to those who have been living together many years. Discover how to help your children adjust to step family life. Receive successful step parenting tips and advice on how biological parents can best support their children. For more information please visit: http://www.stepfamilyhelp.info/seminars/
Created by StepFamilyHelp at 2:43 PM, 31 Jul 2014
8

How much to save before baby arrives?

We are looking to start our family in the next year or so, and were wondering what other people have done in the way of savings? I would ideally be taking a year's maternity leave, so we would be down to one income. Some websites have recommended saving a whole year's salary to cover ourselves for the maternity leave, but that seems like a huge amount! I guess the best thing is to budget, shop around and buy needs, not wants. How have others planned their finances prior to baby arriving?
Last comment by at 12:28 PM, 30 Jul 2014

Pregnancy

1

We need your help with a new documentary series

I’m researching a new documentary for Screentime NZ which is producing a 6 part series for TVNZ called Inconceivable. Over the next two years we’re following families as they struggle with their various battles to build a family. 17% of New Zealanders experience infertility issues and as many of you well know, the impact on relationships, family identity, finances as well as all the physical and emotional pressure is incredibly far reaching. We want Inconceivable to raise awareness and understanding about infertility in what we hope will be an insightful, informative and emotionally compelling series. There are, of course, many different scenarios and solutions for families in this situation and we hope to represent as many as we are able. We also understand this is a sensitive issue and I want to reassure you that we are treating this and all the families involved with the utmost respect and honesty. If you think you might like to share your journey with us, or simply want to know more, please do get in touch.
Last comment by SofiaW at 11:00 AM, 1 Aug 2014
10

episiotomy?

I'm pregnant with baby number 2 and have just gone through my birth plan with the midwife. After describing the extent of my tearing from baby number 1 (about 3rd degree) she has suggested a mediolateral episiotomy to avoid tearing so much or even more since she is pretty sure this baby is going to be bigger than number 1 (9lb 2). I don't like the idea of an episiotomy because of horror stories of recovery; but the idea of 4th degree tearing and subsequent incontinence is pretty scary too. Anyone with experience of either situation, help!
Last comment by Burgerkingbub at 8:30 PM, 29 Jul 2014

Baby

1

Affordable baby websites

Hi. I am moving to Christchurch for a year and have a 10 month old baby. I don't want to spend a lot on nursery furniture like cot and mattress because we will be moving back to the UK in a year. Does anyone have any good recommendations of websites, or shops in Christchurch that are good for things like that?
Last comment by DeeDee at 12:24 AM, 1 Aug 2014
25

How can I get her to take a bottle???

My darling littlest baby girl, now 8 weeks, is losing weight. She has a kidney condition, so is on antibiotics daily, for the first year of her life, or surgery, whichever comes first. She is breastfed, and latches on so easy, feeds beautifully, sleeps well, is placid and just a dream baby. BUT she is losing weight and has been for the last 4 weeks. My midwife and gp have suggested topping her up with a bottle, so we tried expressing after a feed til I had a decent amount, and would try giving her a bottle of BM once a day, which she wouldn't take. We tried all sorts of bottles, all sorts of teats, me, dad, and different people trying to feed her, different times of day, all sorts of things. Even tried using two types of formula to see if that would help. We've had really limited success, my mother got about 75 ml into her one night, and then about 2 weeks later, when a good friend was trying (again) she got 150ml of BM and then 80ml of formula into her. I need some tips please people. The fact that she has a chronic condition makes her weight loss quite a concern, yet all the lactation consultants, nurses, mothers groups, nursing groups, etc that I have rung and pleaded for advice, have basically told me that breast is best, and trying anything else is unfair to my baby, it will confuse her, interrupt my flow etc etc etc etc. I have been given domperidone from the gp to try and increase my flow, no luck so far, my BF made me some lactation cookies (she's awesome) but I am really struggling. I don't need to hear any more negative 'you're a bad person for trying a bottle' comments, I have quite happily breastfed my other children, I know breastmilk coming from a healthy mum is best for the baby IF mum can breastfeed, I know it creates a wonderful bond and so on. I need help with having her latch onto a bottle. I love breastfeeding her, and am not talking of giving up, but my baby is sick and losing weight, she needs more food. All I want is to be able to top her up with a bottle once or twice a day. Please help!!
Last comment by Charpeaches at 9:10 PM, 22 Jul 2014

Little kids

17

To ECE or not to ECE: my dilemma

Hey all, I am a mother of one 3 and a half year old boy. He currently does not attend any sort of daycare or kindy. I am 20 weeks pregnant with our second child and I am after a few insights into weather I should enrol him now, or just stick with what we are doing at home. We have a local daycare centre and the nearest 'kindy' is about 15 minutes drive from here. I am really not sure what it is that they learn from a 'pre-school' situation and I don't like the idea of him feeling like I send him to this new place with lots of other kids because I need to spend time with the baby, there seems to be a 'but why isn't he at kindy' mentality around NZ and I am not sure if I am holding him back or if he is actually learning everything he needs to here at home. He is a very smart child who speaks pretty clearly, enjoys learning, is only shy in very new and unfamiliar situations and of course loves running around outside, digging for worms, riding his bike or playing at a playground. I am at a crossroads and not sure where to head next and Dad hasn't had much of an opinion to help sway in either direction. Am after comments and advice from those who have gone before me...
Last comment by Scarletred88 at 12:34 AM, 29 Jul 2014
35

What do you do for childcare?

I'd be really interested to know what you mums do for childcare - when you first go back to work (assuming you do), when they are in school etc. Creche, au pairs, nannies? What's common in NZ? :)
Last comment by MiaCC at 8:50 PM, 5 May 2014

Big kids

43

Bible Studies and Opting Out

I read the article about Jeff McClintock objecting to the Bibles in Schools programme reducing teaching/learning time with interest. This issue resonates with me as we are currently living in a small rural community and my son is the only child in our local school to be opted out of the programme. As such, there is one morning a week where he starts the school day at 9.30am as the school have no provision for children not in the programme. He struggles to understand why he is different to the rest of the class as kids being kids, a number of them tease him for being late. He is a very quiet child and uncomfortable with attention so it makes it all the more difficult to try and slip into the class with the minimum of fuss. My personal view is that State run schools should be secular and I am staunchly opposed to the Bibles in Schools programme but with my older child the experience of opting out was seamless and easy. He was at a Primary School where the programme was run after lunch, was actively promoted to parents as being entirely voluntary and the kids who didn't participate were allowed to visit the library for half an hour. There was never an issue and my son was never made to feel different or weird. But all this being said, it is our choice to opt out and clearly we have to accept the consequences, but where is this teaching time made up? During Term 1 alone we have had a couple of half days due to Parent Teacher Interviews, School Athletics and at least two Teachers Only Days (apparently Easter Tuesday is now an official school holiday??!!). I am fortunate in that I have been able to shuffle my work days around to suit but I really do question how we would have been able to manage had my hubby and I both still been working full time. And most importantly, the pupils are still missing out on 20 hours teaching a year so I'm right behind you on this Jeff - I struggle to understand how and why we are just expected to accept this without question?
Last comment by hillbillygirl at 2:07 PM, 23 Mar 2014
10

What's the Tooth Fairy's going rate these days?

The son of a friend of mine lost his first tooth while staying at his grandparents. The tooth fairy there decided to give him $20 (!!!) for the tooth. Not a great precedent, and now he's got a second tooth loose, his parents want to know what a more realistic price might be. Any suggestions?
Last comment by AnKi at 4:30 PM, 10 Mar 2014

Family life

8

How much to save before baby arrives?

We are looking to start our family in the next year or so, and were wondering what other people have done in the way of savings? I would ideally be taking a year's maternity leave, so we would be down to one income. Some websites have recommended saving a whole year's salary to cover ourselves for the maternity leave, but that seems like a huge amount! I guess the best thing is to budget, shop around and buy needs, not wants. How have others planned their finances prior to baby arriving?
Last comment by at 12:28 PM, 30 Jul 2014
7

Pocket money

What are your thoughts on pocket money? Do you pay it? Do you link it to chores or do you just pay it regardless? What age did you start paying? How much?? I think we used to get about 50c a week way back when, which used to go a long way on 1c lollies! We also used to get a little bit for school banking, but I really can't remember the details. Sorry for all the questions, but I'm trying to decide what to do for my daughter. There seem to be mixed opinions out there about the best way to go about it (as with most things to do with parenting!!) Any thoughts/advice much appreciated...
Last comment by at 12:26 PM, 30 Jul 2014

Mum's life

13

work/children balance

Hi everyone, I am a 25 y.o. my partner and I are planning to conceive during the last leg of writing my ph.d. I will be finished sometime during 2014. I would like to take a year or two out to raise baby, then perhaps look into beginning a career in my field on a part-time basis. What are other Mums experiences with juggling career and children and how did you decide to manage the two? Do you have any opinions on whether you should have stable career before beginning a family, or should it be the other way around? I'd love to know what other people are doing/ have done!
Last comment by Miyuki Su at 2:40 PM, 7 Oct 2013
94

Book Club - Sisters of Mercy

Hi everyone, We'll be holding the first online meeting for the Essential Mums bookclub tonight at about 7.30. Just come back to this thread then. We'll be talking about Sisters of Mercy by Caroline Overington. If you haven't read the book here's a sneak peek of the first 30 or so pages from the publisher's website. www.randomhouse.co.nz/books/caroline-overington/sisters-of-mercy-9781742750422.aspx If you haven't read this book then join the chat anyway and tell us what you have been reading.
Last comment by NatalieJames at 8:55 PM, 13 Mar 2013

General

29

Anyone looked into cloth nappies?

I bought my first set of cloth nappies from a stand at a Parent & Child Expo. It was great becuase I could look, touch and try them, and ask questions. It was just one brand though, and there are so many different brands and styles and things to think about. Looking online just doesn't cut it becuase you can't compare and play with them. In the end I spent quite a chunk of money buying a variety from TradeMe before I settled on the system I was going to use. I wondered if this dificulty was a factor for other parents. Disposables aren't just convenient to use, they take absolutely no time at all to work out. And the cost benefits of cloth aren't that great if you go through the process I followed. What has your experience been? Did you consider cloth at all? If you use cloth, which ones do you use? If not, why did you choose disposables - just convenience, or were their other reasons too? NB people make the decisions that sit their own families, so disposables and cloth are just as good as each other in my opinion.
Last comment by MamaScamps at 10:00 PM, 28 Nov 2013
31

Essential Dads?

So, even though I'm a stay at home dad of a 9 month old baby, I guess I can't engage here. Because this is a site for mums only... or have I missed something?
Last comment by simoragn at 10:07 AM, 29 Oct 2012
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