Last night I climbed into my son's cot. I climbed into his cot! Ridiculous, but true.
Let me start by saying I'm incredibly impressed the cot didn't collapse, and believe me when I tell you that says a lot more about the quality New Zealand craftsmanship of the cot than it does about my svelte figure (cough).
Perhaps you should know that it wasn't the first time I've found myself in his cot. Not even the second. Last night marked the third occasion in which I lost my grip on common sense and clambered into a cot in an effort to cuddle my son into sleep submission. I can't even pretend it was a one-time, desperate spur-of-the-moment thing.
I have to admit I was intrigued about the possibility of the cot cuddle after watching this video. Now I know it isn't particularly wise to attempt any old thing you see on YouTube, and I'm afraid I have no good excuse for my weird behaviour except to say that it looked kinda cute and fun. And hey, why lift the baby out of his cot when I could soothe him right there and not have to worry about him doing that annoying thing where he wakes the moment he senses he's being lowered back into bed?
The truth is I am 12 years old and part of me just wanted to test the notion that the pair of us might be able to fit in a cot together. The same part that has seen me squeeze into an empty fridge, a chilly bin and a leather dress that was about two sizes too small.
So anyway, the other night Vic wouldn't settle. He was crying away and after my fourth or fifth attempt to calm him I thought, stuff it, I'm going in. The moment I hoisted my leg over the side of the cot (no easy feat considering I'm such a shorty) LV stopped crying. He was bewildered at first and unsure how to react. In the dim light filtering in from the hallway I could see him staring blankly at me for a few moments, and then a huge grin spread across his face. He launched himself at me and gave me a massive hug before pulling back and assessing the situation again, as if to make sure he wasn't imagining things.
I lay there in his cot, perfectly still, while he climbed all over me for a few minutes. There was no sign of him snuggling in close to settle down for the night so I soon admitted defeat. I kissed his fuzzy little head, told him it was time to sleep and clumsily hauled myself out of the cot feeling like a total idiot. He smiled at me as I left the room and after I closed the door I stood quietly outside anticipating a loud protest. He didn't make a peep.
That was it, off to sleep he went.
And that's why I've climbed into his cot twice more since. He's had a rotten time with his teeth in the last couple of weeks; it's thrown his routine out of whack and made it difficult to get him off to sleep. There have been nights where I've been willing to try just about anything. Obviously.
Now before you go diving into your baby's bed you should know that it didn't work the second time, nor did it work last night, so with the failures now outweighing the successes I've officially removed cot cuddles from my list of possible soothing options. Besides, I was starting to worry a little I might develop a taste for it and end up like this guy.
We do crazy things to get our kids to sleep sometimes, don't we? I haven't yet found myself pacing the streets in the dark hoping he might nod off in the pram, nor have I buckled him, pajama-clad, into the car for a few loops around the block. Both of these common methods involve leaving the house, and I'm just too lazy for that carry on.
I am fairly sure this entry will receive exactly zero comments saying, "snap! I've climbed into my baby's cot too!" - so it's likely I'm alone in this and you probably all think I'm a bit loopy. However, while you may not have found yourself in your baby's cot, I'm sure many of you have gone beyond a quick feed, cuddle, rock or shush-pat to get your little angel off to sleep. So tell me, what are some of the more extreme measures you've taken in an attempt to settle your baby?
- © Fairfax NZ News